When someone lies to you, what do you do?
a. Feel offended/insulted/angry/hurt that they lied to you? b. Ask them why they lied to you? c. Ask yourself why they felt the need to lie to you?
Sure, one could point to situations where a, b, or c (or a combination) is a completely justified response, but the real question is which one do you turn to first, consistently?
If you started with c as a rule, you get better at the conversation happening in b, and the likelihood of you ending up at a would be very low.
On the other hand, if you always started at a, you get worse at the conversation you're supposed to be having at b, and the likelihood of you ending up at c becomes very low.
Be very careful with what you choose.